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1. The Disappointment Suite
Look we need to talk
It’s just that your performance is well…
Not good.
Umm. I think we should just be friends.
It’s not you.. it’s me.. I think we just work better as friends
Alright look man… I’m gonna need that money by tomorrow.
Yeah.. listen.. this call is about your father.
Are you still there?!?
And that’s why I cheated on you.
Hi this is your landlord.. I was wondering when you were going to..
You know.. pay your rent?
Look. Please stop calling me. I don’t think we should even be friends.
Not right now.
This song is out
For anyone out there who loves disappointing situations
Or stories about them
This song
This album
This band
The day
My life
Is a disappointment
Pinche joto… no me gusta
We have reviewed your application..
And we have decided to reject it at this time.
I’m sorry.. we don’t sell that sandwich anymore..
We actually haven’t had it for over a month.
2. If You Ever Find Me
I can't get down there see you
I can't get away from all this
Because I like it way too much
You're not that great
Like I said you were
I might stay on up here for a while
I might stay on up here for forever
And if you ever find me
I'll probably run away
Because you don't do it for me
Like I said
I'm not the one for you
You're not the one for me
All of this I will tell you
If you ever find me
I don't want to ever go home
I don't want to hold you again
I don't like you all that much
I said you were great
But I lied
I might stay on up here for a while
I might stay on up here for forever
Please don't come and find me
I'll only run away
Cause you aren't very pretty
Like I said
I'm not the one for you
You're not the one for me
All of this I will tell you
If you ever find me
I'm not sorry I lied to you
I can't help what I've done
I'm glad with the way it's worked out
You're not that great
Like I said you were
I don't know where I'll stay tonight
I don't know where I'll stay tomorrow
But if you ever find me
I'll probably run away
Because you don't do it for me
Like I said
I'm not the one for you
You're not the one for me
All of this I'll tell you
If you ever find me.
3. At The Wrong Bar
Wandering down the street
Looking at the people
I probably won't meet
Time to escape
Make my mind not think
Time to escape
And drop in for a drink
Hand on the door
One foot inside
And I think
Everything's alright
I walk up to the bar
To drink with all my might
I'm at the wrong bar
They don't serve crackers
And I don't have any chili
I'm at the wrong bar
I just walked on in
Wandering down the street
Looking for a friend
That I knew a while back
Time to make amends
Make things be ok
Time to make amends
And drop in for a drink
Hand on the door
One foot inside
And I think
Everything's gonna be alright
I walk to up the house
To apologize with all my heart
I'm At the wrong house
They don't have any crackers
I don't know how to make chili
I'm at the wrong house
They look at me like "Why you here for?"
Wandering down the street
Thinking 'bout my girl
And what she means to me
Time to escape
At least that's what I think
Time to escape
And go out for a drink
Hand on the door
One foot outside
and I think
Everything's gonna be alright
I walk off to the bar
To drink with all my heart
I'm with the wrong girl
She doesn't own any crackers
And she won't touch my chili
I'm with the wrong girl
I think I should leave her
4. Heart-Aching Cowboy Song
I'm sittin in a field
You can't get to me
I am completely drunk
I'm not answering my phone
I wish you gave a damn
You don't know
The Pain I'm in
And I don't know what's worse
The fact that you're not here now
Or the fact that you're
gone for good
I'm gonna keep drinking
Until I can say good bye
I'm gonna keep drinking
Until I fucking die
I wish you'd come on over
With me and have a drink
I wish you'd come on over
So I wouldn't have to drink
We were sittin in my room
When you told me
I was not for you
And to not call you one the phone
Because you don't give a damn
And you don't care
about the pain I'm in
And I don't know what's worse
The fact that you're not here now
or the fact that you're
gone for good
I'm gonna keep drinking
Until I can say good bye
I'm gonan keep drinking
Until I fucking die
I wish you'd come on over
With me and have a drink
I wish you'd come on over
So I wouldn't have to drink
I'm passed out in the woods
You can't get to me
I've completely given up
on you calling on the phone
I wish you gave a damn
But you don't care
Bout the pain I'm in
And I don't what's worse
The fact that you're not here now
Or that fact that you're
gone for good
I'm gonna keep drinking
Until I can say good bye
I'm gonna keep drinking
Until I fucking die
I wish you'd come on over
With me and have a drink
I wish you'd come on over
So I wouldn't have to drink
5. Woman!
Woman
What did you do to me
Woman
Why did you do this to me
Woman
This is a waste of time
You don't know how much I cared for you
You don't know how much I hate you
Was it all a lie
were you just wasting time
What are you running from
If you hate me then how come
Was it what I did
Or was it what I said?
Would you tell me please
If not then suck on D's.
Woman
Woman
Evil Woman
Evil woman
Evil woman
Evil woman
Evil woman
6. Linda
Gonna sing to your mom
And tell her she is hot
because she looks awfully good for her age
then we'll go to the store
and then we'll buy some dingdongs
and we'll eat them in your car
Goin' to the store
with your mom
for some dingdongs
and we'll eat them in your car
and we'll make fun of you
and we'll talk about how we don't like you
and we'll eat the dings dongs
and we'll be really really messy
and we'll eat them
and we'll squish them into the carpet
of your car
Gonna sing to your mom
Tell her to make me dinner
Because I'm hungry and she makes good meatloaf
Then we'll go to the park
And we'll walk and hold hands
and we'll make plans to send you to live with your dad
Gonna sing to your mom
and tell her she loves me
because I don't think she knows it yet
Gonna talk about
how we're gonna be married
and then I'll be your stepdad
And that will be funny
7. Tacos In The Corner
The tacos in the corner won't do me any good
They won't make me happy like you'd think they would
I can't eat them without you
So I may as well starve
My life is surely over
Now that you have gone.
The tacos in the corner cannot make me happy
The beans and the rice are all for nothing
The cheese and the lettuce have no purpose
The corn tortilla is wasted for sure
I could mash them into nachos with my fork
But that won't do the trick
I'll just look like a dork
Whatever will I do
I hate you!
You ruined my life
When you said we'd be together
That little lie
Couldn't survive the stormy weather
Cause when things got tough
You left in a flash
And now I can't eat tacos
Because there'd be no point.
The tacos in the corner cannot make me happy
I thought they were the source but I sure was wrong
You were all that I needed to get through the day
Tacos made things better but without you they are lame
Whatever will I do
I hate you!
I'll spend my whole life
At home missing you
I won't eat another taco
Cause I lost my appetite
I could go find another
But that would not feel right
You said you'd stay forever
And I believed you.
8. The Boy Who Didn’t Like Steak
There was a boy
Who
Couldn't eat all of his steak
And his mother told him to eat it all
But he just couldn't finish it
The boy grew up
And he never learned to like steak
Until one day he met a girl
Who really liked steak
And she told him
If he'd finish his ribeye
He could have a kiss
And so he at the steak
And it was delicious
It was like nothing he had ever tasted
And he thanked the girl
But then he left the girl
Because he wanted to focus
On eating a lifetime's worth of steak
Then he left the girl
Because he wanted to focus on a lifetime worth
of eating steak
And he never thought about that girl
Ever
Soon enough the boy had all the steak he could ever want
But this wasn't enough
Now he wanted shrimp cocktail
And he wanted buffalo wings
And he wanted to wash it down with a beer
And then after that
He wanted to eat some pie
It didn't matter if was key lime or cherry
And the boys would do this day in and day out
And he never ever thought about that girl
Because he wanted to focus on a lifetime
of not just eating steak
But also eating any kind of side dish
That you can think of
Whether its mashed potatoes or macaroni
and cheese
This little story should remind you
That just because you didn't like something
before
Doesn't mean you won't like it in the future
So go out and eat a steak.. have some
shrimp cocktail
And maybe and order of wings
Because even if it doesn't sound good now
It might later.
But don't ever think about that girl
She'll just make you mad and she'll just
make you sad
Be like the boy in the story
And drown your sorrows in food and drink
This has been a public service announcement
9. I Have To Laugh
There
You were
Again
Today
I just stood there looking at you
and I didn't say a single thing to you
I freeze up whenever you are near
I wish you could sit and have a beer
but
I don't have the guts
I don't have the time
You just walk on by
And I just have to laugh
Oh lord can't we be together
Can it be forever
Can't we be together
Can't it be forever
You're the one I'm dreaming of
You're the one I love
Please don't say you're going away
No no no no no
I just know that you're too good for me
and I'm aware of what my place is
I don't deserve a goddess like you
If I had you I wouldn't know what to do
So
I'll just stay alone
I'll just sit and stare
You just walk on by
And I just have to laugh
10. Can’t Go On
Things
are in
my head again
And I'm
just runnin' away
I can't
find you
No matter
what I do
And you'd
just run
away
I can't find you
You don't know where
I have looked for you
So you never go there
This
can't go
on forever
You know
So I
think you
should come
on home
With me
Can't go on
Can't go on
Can't go on
Can't go on
I can't go on without you
11. Don’t Even Feel Like Drinking
I don't even feel like drinking
Cause all I'm doin' is thinkin
Bout where I'm goin
And where I've been
And I don't know where
I took a wrong turn
But I know you saw me
Go down this path
So don't act like you didn't see
Don't need gin
Don't need tequila
Don't need Scotch
Don't need beer
All I need
Is to have you here
I don't even feel like drinking
Cause all I'm doin' is plannin'
Bout getting you back
And how that's done
Whiskey won't help me
That's for sure
It's you're too good for me
So I know that
I have to get better
Don't need gin
Don't need tequila
Don't need Scotch
Don't need beer
All I need
Is to have you here
I don't even feel like drinkin'
But all I'm doin' is drinkin
Drownin' my sorrows
Hiding them away
I can't see an end to this
You're my dream
that won't come true
But that's my problem
So just act like you don't see
12. I’m Losing My Mind
There is a light
at the end of the hall
I walk toward the light
at the end of the hall
I'm hoping to find that
You've come home
I'm hoping to find that
You surprising me
But just find that I left the light on
Before I went to work
I miss you
I wish you
Would come back to me
But you just won't
and I'm losing my mind
There is a bowl
on the kitchen table
I walk toward the bowl
on the kitchen table
I'm hoping to find that
you've come home
I'm hoping to find that
You made me dinner
But I just find that I left a bowl out
When I ate lunch
There is a note
Right by the door
I walk to the note
Right by the door
I'm hoping to find that
You didn't write it
I'm hoping to find that
It's all a hoax
But I just find that I left it
where I dropped it when you left me
I miss you
I wish you
Would come back to me
But you just won't
and I'm losing my mind
There is a light
at the end of the hall
I walk toward the light
at the end of the hall
I'm hoping to find that
You've come home
I'm hoping to find that
You surprising me
But I just find that I'm
living in my own world?
13. Hangover
Ain't had no sleep
Ain't had no lovin'
Dining on sheep
And a cornbread muffin
Got things to do
Too many to talk about
but baby when I think of you
I hope you get the gout
you're gone
And I'm here
Like a deer
in the headlights
on these crazy red bull nights
and hangover nights
Cause this sadness just stays and stays
Through all my hangover days
Just dying every day
Over what I heard you say
Ain't had no sleep
Ain't had no lovin'
Just dying every day
For you.
Ain't had no fun
Ain't made no pay
Just missing you a ton
And cryin' all day
Got things to do
Like hide from the words you spoke
Baby when I think of you
I hope you choke
you're gone
And I'm here
Like a deer
in the headlights
on these crazy red bull nights
and hangover nights
Cause this sadness just stays and stays
Through all my hangover days
Ain't had no sleep
Ain't had no lovin'
Just dining on sheep
And a cornbread muffin
I sip my iced tea
I wish you were here with me
here on my porch
Where I carry this torch
Look we need to talk
It’s just that your performance is well…
Not good.
Umm. I think we should just be friends.
It’s not you.. it’s me.. I think we just work better as friends
Alright look man… I’m gonna need that money by tomorrow.
Yeah.. listen.. this call is about your father.
Are you still there?!?
And that’s why I cheated on you.
Hi this is your landlord.. I was wondering when you were going to..
You know.. pay your rent?
Look. Please stop calling me. I don’t think we should even be friends.
Not right now.
This song is out
For anyone out there who loves disappointing situations
Or stories about them
This song
This album
This band
The day
My life
Is a disappointment
Pinche joto… no me gusta
We have reviewed your application..
And we have decided to reject it at this time.
I’m sorry.. we don’t sell that sandwich anymore..
We actually haven’t had it for over a month.
2. If You Ever Find Me
I can't get down there see you
I can't get away from all this
Because I like it way too much
You're not that great
Like I said you were
I might stay on up here for a while
I might stay on up here for forever
And if you ever find me
I'll probably run away
Because you don't do it for me
Like I said
I'm not the one for you
You're not the one for me
All of this I will tell you
If you ever find me
I don't want to ever go home
I don't want to hold you again
I don't like you all that much
I said you were great
But I lied
I might stay on up here for a while
I might stay on up here for forever
Please don't come and find me
I'll only run away
Cause you aren't very pretty
Like I said
I'm not the one for you
You're not the one for me
All of this I will tell you
If you ever find me
I'm not sorry I lied to you
I can't help what I've done
I'm glad with the way it's worked out
You're not that great
Like I said you were
I don't know where I'll stay tonight
I don't know where I'll stay tomorrow
But if you ever find me
I'll probably run away
Because you don't do it for me
Like I said
I'm not the one for you
You're not the one for me
All of this I'll tell you
If you ever find me.
3. At The Wrong Bar
Wandering down the street
Looking at the people
I probably won't meet
Time to escape
Make my mind not think
Time to escape
And drop in for a drink
Hand on the door
One foot inside
And I think
Everything's alright
I walk up to the bar
To drink with all my might
I'm at the wrong bar
They don't serve crackers
And I don't have any chili
I'm at the wrong bar
I just walked on in
Wandering down the street
Looking for a friend
That I knew a while back
Time to make amends
Make things be ok
Time to make amends
And drop in for a drink
Hand on the door
One foot inside
And I think
Everything's gonna be alright
I walk to up the house
To apologize with all my heart
I'm At the wrong house
They don't have any crackers
I don't know how to make chili
I'm at the wrong house
They look at me like "Why you here for?"
Wandering down the street
Thinking 'bout my girl
And what she means to me
Time to escape
At least that's what I think
Time to escape
And go out for a drink
Hand on the door
One foot outside
and I think
Everything's gonna be alright
I walk off to the bar
To drink with all my heart
I'm with the wrong girl
She doesn't own any crackers
And she won't touch my chili
I'm with the wrong girl
I think I should leave her
4. Heart-Aching Cowboy Song
I'm sittin in a field
You can't get to me
I am completely drunk
I'm not answering my phone
I wish you gave a damn
You don't know
The Pain I'm in
And I don't know what's worse
The fact that you're not here now
Or the fact that you're
gone for good
I'm gonna keep drinking
Until I can say good bye
I'm gonna keep drinking
Until I fucking die
I wish you'd come on over
With me and have a drink
I wish you'd come on over
So I wouldn't have to drink
We were sittin in my room
When you told me
I was not for you
And to not call you one the phone
Because you don't give a damn
And you don't care
about the pain I'm in
And I don't know what's worse
The fact that you're not here now
or the fact that you're
gone for good
I'm gonna keep drinking
Until I can say good bye
I'm gonan keep drinking
Until I fucking die
I wish you'd come on over
With me and have a drink
I wish you'd come on over
So I wouldn't have to drink
I'm passed out in the woods
You can't get to me
I've completely given up
on you calling on the phone
I wish you gave a damn
But you don't care
Bout the pain I'm in
And I don't what's worse
The fact that you're not here now
Or that fact that you're
gone for good
I'm gonna keep drinking
Until I can say good bye
I'm gonna keep drinking
Until I fucking die
I wish you'd come on over
With me and have a drink
I wish you'd come on over
So I wouldn't have to drink
5. Woman!
Woman
What did you do to me
Woman
Why did you do this to me
Woman
This is a waste of time
You don't know how much I cared for you
You don't know how much I hate you
Was it all a lie
were you just wasting time
What are you running from
If you hate me then how come
Was it what I did
Or was it what I said?
Would you tell me please
If not then suck on D's.
Woman
Woman
Evil Woman
Evil woman
Evil woman
Evil woman
Evil woman
6. Linda
Gonna sing to your mom
And tell her she is hot
because she looks awfully good for her age
then we'll go to the store
and then we'll buy some dingdongs
and we'll eat them in your car
Goin' to the store
with your mom
for some dingdongs
and we'll eat them in your car
and we'll make fun of you
and we'll talk about how we don't like you
and we'll eat the dings dongs
and we'll be really really messy
and we'll eat them
and we'll squish them into the carpet
of your car
Gonna sing to your mom
Tell her to make me dinner
Because I'm hungry and she makes good meatloaf
Then we'll go to the park
And we'll walk and hold hands
and we'll make plans to send you to live with your dad
Gonna sing to your mom
and tell her she loves me
because I don't think she knows it yet
Gonna talk about
how we're gonna be married
and then I'll be your stepdad
And that will be funny
7. Tacos In The Corner
The tacos in the corner won't do me any good
They won't make me happy like you'd think they would
I can't eat them without you
So I may as well starve
My life is surely over
Now that you have gone.
The tacos in the corner cannot make me happy
The beans and the rice are all for nothing
The cheese and the lettuce have no purpose
The corn tortilla is wasted for sure
I could mash them into nachos with my fork
But that won't do the trick
I'll just look like a dork
Whatever will I do
I hate you!
You ruined my life
When you said we'd be together
That little lie
Couldn't survive the stormy weather
Cause when things got tough
You left in a flash
And now I can't eat tacos
Because there'd be no point.
The tacos in the corner cannot make me happy
I thought they were the source but I sure was wrong
You were all that I needed to get through the day
Tacos made things better but without you they are lame
Whatever will I do
I hate you!
I'll spend my whole life
At home missing you
I won't eat another taco
Cause I lost my appetite
I could go find another
But that would not feel right
You said you'd stay forever
And I believed you.
8. The Boy Who Didn’t Like Steak
There was a boy
Who
Couldn't eat all of his steak
And his mother told him to eat it all
But he just couldn't finish it
The boy grew up
And he never learned to like steak
Until one day he met a girl
Who really liked steak
And she told him
If he'd finish his ribeye
He could have a kiss
And so he at the steak
And it was delicious
It was like nothing he had ever tasted
And he thanked the girl
But then he left the girl
Because he wanted to focus
On eating a lifetime's worth of steak
Then he left the girl
Because he wanted to focus on a lifetime worth
of eating steak
And he never thought about that girl
Ever
Soon enough the boy had all the steak he could ever want
But this wasn't enough
Now he wanted shrimp cocktail
And he wanted buffalo wings
And he wanted to wash it down with a beer
And then after that
He wanted to eat some pie
It didn't matter if was key lime or cherry
And the boys would do this day in and day out
And he never ever thought about that girl
Because he wanted to focus on a lifetime
of not just eating steak
But also eating any kind of side dish
That you can think of
Whether its mashed potatoes or macaroni
and cheese
This little story should remind you
That just because you didn't like something
before
Doesn't mean you won't like it in the future
So go out and eat a steak.. have some
shrimp cocktail
And maybe and order of wings
Because even if it doesn't sound good now
It might later.
But don't ever think about that girl
She'll just make you mad and she'll just
make you sad
Be like the boy in the story
And drown your sorrows in food and drink
This has been a public service announcement
9. I Have To Laugh
There
You were
Again
Today
I just stood there looking at you
and I didn't say a single thing to you
I freeze up whenever you are near
I wish you could sit and have a beer
but
I don't have the guts
I don't have the time
You just walk on by
And I just have to laugh
Oh lord can't we be together
Can it be forever
Can't we be together
Can't it be forever
You're the one I'm dreaming of
You're the one I love
Please don't say you're going away
No no no no no
I just know that you're too good for me
and I'm aware of what my place is
I don't deserve a goddess like you
If I had you I wouldn't know what to do
So
I'll just stay alone
I'll just sit and stare
You just walk on by
And I just have to laugh
10. Can’t Go On
Things
are in
my head again
And I'm
just runnin' away
I can't
find you
No matter
what I do
And you'd
just run
away
I can't find you
You don't know where
I have looked for you
So you never go there
This
can't go
on forever
You know
So I
think you
should come
on home
With me
Can't go on
Can't go on
Can't go on
Can't go on
I can't go on without you
11. Don’t Even Feel Like Drinking
I don't even feel like drinking
Cause all I'm doin' is thinkin
Bout where I'm goin
And where I've been
And I don't know where
I took a wrong turn
But I know you saw me
Go down this path
So don't act like you didn't see
Don't need gin
Don't need tequila
Don't need Scotch
Don't need beer
All I need
Is to have you here
I don't even feel like drinking
Cause all I'm doin' is plannin'
Bout getting you back
And how that's done
Whiskey won't help me
That's for sure
It's you're too good for me
So I know that
I have to get better
Don't need gin
Don't need tequila
Don't need Scotch
Don't need beer
All I need
Is to have you here
I don't even feel like drinkin'
But all I'm doin' is drinkin
Drownin' my sorrows
Hiding them away
I can't see an end to this
You're my dream
that won't come true
But that's my problem
So just act like you don't see
12. I’m Losing My Mind
There is a light
at the end of the hall
I walk toward the light
at the end of the hall
I'm hoping to find that
You've come home
I'm hoping to find that
You surprising me
But just find that I left the light on
Before I went to work
I miss you
I wish you
Would come back to me
But you just won't
and I'm losing my mind
There is a bowl
on the kitchen table
I walk toward the bowl
on the kitchen table
I'm hoping to find that
you've come home
I'm hoping to find that
You made me dinner
But I just find that I left a bowl out
When I ate lunch
There is a note
Right by the door
I walk to the note
Right by the door
I'm hoping to find that
You didn't write it
I'm hoping to find that
It's all a hoax
But I just find that I left it
where I dropped it when you left me
I miss you
I wish you
Would come back to me
But you just won't
and I'm losing my mind
There is a light
at the end of the hall
I walk toward the light
at the end of the hall
I'm hoping to find that
You've come home
I'm hoping to find that
You surprising me
But I just find that I'm
living in my own world?
13. Hangover
Ain't had no sleep
Ain't had no lovin'
Dining on sheep
And a cornbread muffin
Got things to do
Too many to talk about
but baby when I think of you
I hope you get the gout
you're gone
And I'm here
Like a deer
in the headlights
on these crazy red bull nights
and hangover nights
Cause this sadness just stays and stays
Through all my hangover days
Just dying every day
Over what I heard you say
Ain't had no sleep
Ain't had no lovin'
Just dying every day
For you.
Ain't had no fun
Ain't made no pay
Just missing you a ton
And cryin' all day
Got things to do
Like hide from the words you spoke
Baby when I think of you
I hope you choke
you're gone
And I'm here
Like a deer
in the headlights
on these crazy red bull nights
and hangover nights
Cause this sadness just stays and stays
Through all my hangover days
Ain't had no sleep
Ain't had no lovin'
Just dining on sheep
And a cornbread muffin
I sip my iced tea
I wish you were here with me
here on my porch
Where I carry this torch
